In India, having a baby is more often than not a community affair! It is not just the business of the new parents because everybody has an opinion on your baby and your parenting skills. It may be easier to just take a deep breath and embrace the inevitable and while doing so keep in mind a few pointers to make the journey a little less rocky and a little more enjoyable for you and your baby.

Don't hesitate to ask for help

People do mean it when they say that they will help. It is your call to make about how you would like to be supported. You will need help especially in the first couple of months after the baby's arrival, so don't feel shy about seeking support.

Ask for specific support

Though everyone wants to help, they might not necessarily be the kind of help that you would like. So be specific in your request -You could ask someone to keep an eye on the baby while you have a relaxing shower or catch a quick nap, take the older kids off your hands for a while, help in getting groceries for you, cook a meal for you or just spend time with you to catch up on the outside world. It can make a world of difference to have friends and family rally around you.

Sharing baby with grandparents

Grandparents often pitch in for the first few months at least. Make sure you share the baby equally with both your parents and in-laws. Check with them in advance about their convenience so that they can plan their visits to help you out as well as enjoy their grandchild. But it may not be a great idea to have both sets of grandparents visiting at the same time! Do keep in mind though that their contribution and experience can be invaluable in caring for your little one.

Sharing caregiving with grandparents

It is very common in India for grandparents to take on the responsibility of caring for your baby. Do check if they are physically fit to take on the exhausting task of bringing up baby. It would help if they are not saddled alone with this task and you could hire a babysitter to assist them. This way you can ensure that they only have a supervisory role and not get tied down to the house. Be sensitive to their needs and physical stamina.

Define boundaries

Issues like feeding, nap times and discipline can be areas of dispute. Make sure that you communicate clearly about how you would like this handled so that you can avoid unpleasant encounters. Be assertive about your rules but at the same time appreciative of their contribution. Grandparents might often throw the experience angle at you and they may be right at times, but discuss with them about not challenging your authority especially when the child is able to understand.

Dealing with joint families

Though this scenario is not too common nowadays, there are still a few who live in a joint family. It could be both a boon and a bane for you and your baby. While there will be no dearth of babysitters in the family and to help out in chores, there could be a clash of ideologies in areas of discipline and values. Again make sure you draw boundaries about how you would like your baby to be brought up and be assertive without being unpleasant.

Childcare in a multi-cultural family

With boundaries between communities and countries being bridged, things become just a wee bit more complicated. For instance something as simple as baby's diet or the ideal age for piercing the baby's ears - can be a difficult issue with different ideologies and cultural differences at play. These are the issues that you and your partner will have to discuss well in advance and come to a consensus before presenting a united front to your respective families. Each culture has its own definitions of the ideal food, customs and values. So be sensitive to the differences and come up with your own unique parenting style that you and your partner believe in.

Grandparents and the extended family can give your child a sense of belonging and identity. So make sure you nurture the relationship and walk the fine line between involvement and interference. It is important that your child has someone other than you to turn to in times of need, for a different perspective. And the unconditional love from the grandparents has no substitute ever.