SELF HELP RESOURCE - Relationships / Women

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Do you remember your teenage years when your world was filled with dreams, hopes and lots of friends? You swore that nothing would be more important than your ties with the sisterhood and that wherever you went you would make time to connect with them. But life happened after that and here you are juggling a demanding career, marriage, children, in-laws, running a ship-shape household and trying to keep your sanity all the while! Sound familiar? Don't you often wish that you could recapture those carefree moments again and reconnect with your old friends who were your go-to people for everything and talking to whom somehow made things easier to handle? 

Many women are hard-pressed to find some ‘Me' time in their hectic schedules nowadays. You might well wonder if finding "me time" is possible at all for you, what with the punishing schedule and increasing demands on your time. But it is important that in the rush of everyday living, we don't lose ourselves, that we take time to connect with a part of us that is untethered and carefree! Maybe for some it could be finding that much needed tranquillity in the midst of chaos, a shoulder to lean on when things become too stressful or to find joy in that forgotten passion that used to lift you out of your bluest funk. If you still think you would like to find that space, read on...... 

 
Reconnect with old friends 

All relationships in life have to be nurtured as carefully as you would a garden. In today's connected world it is not difficult to find your old friends in case you have lost touch with them. There is nothing like old friendships to make you feel grounded again and accepted for who you really are. So if they live in the same town, make a commitment to meet up with them at least once a month for a meal. Make this like a ritual and let it be as sacrosanct as a birthday, an anniversary or a meeting at office. It is not only a great stress buster but also a time for you to unwind and enjoy yourself with people whom you care for. If they are in a different town or country, you can still connect with them over Skype. But again, you have to take the trouble to make this happen. Of course, special days like their birthdays or anniversaries are also occasions to reconnect with friends. 

 
Steal some time for yourself everyday 

Being on a treadmill of never ending chores can get monotonous and stressful after a while. It is important then to squeeze out at least half an hour of ‘me-time' for yourself every day. One way is to get up an hour before your family wakes up and spend that time quietly with yourself with a cup of coffee, listen to some soothing music or even do some meditation. For those of you who like to start their day with a little more action, a run or yoga would be a good idea. This special hour is only for yourself, so make sure your family respects your space. There is nothing like quiet time to gather yourself before you start your day. You will soon find that you will be able to carry a sense of peace through the day and even if you have a rough day, it will be easier for you to pick yourself up and move on. 

 
Take time to pamper yourself 

Women often are so busy taking care of the entire family that many times their own grooming becomes the last priority. You will feel more like a person and less frustrated if you take time to indulge yourself in a massage once in a while or get a smart hair cut or even indulge in some retail therapy with friends. If that is difficult then have someone babysit your kids and take that long leisurely bath with scented bath salts or go for a long walk with your best friend. The idea is not to ignore your own needs because then after a while it begins to take a toll on your physical and emotional health. So go ahead and make a date with your girlfriends for that mani-pedi! 

 
Pursue your passions 

It is easy to get so caught up with the daily grind of home and office that we forget about interests that earlier excited us or lifted our spirits. It could be pursuing your interest in music, dance, painting or gardening. There are so many DIY options available nowadays that pursuing a hobby is not difficult. Many times you will find that your partner never misses his weekly golf or tennis with his friends and you are left nursing your resentment because he is having all the fun. You could talk to him and come to an arrangement where both of you can take turns on alternate weekends to pursue your passions. This way both of you have me-time and there is no underlying friction. If you are going to be a Groucho Marx all the time then you really are no fun to be with and you will find your family keeping away from you, which really is not your intention! 

 
While family and work are important aspects of your life, so are you. If you don't find time for a break, you might end up being tired all the time or irritable, resentful and guilty for not enjoying your family. The stress that you will be creating for yourself is too much of a price to pay both physically and emotionally. Remember the announcement on an airplane for emergencies - first put on your own oxygen mask and then help your children or fellow passengers. So ladies, make a resolution to take good care of yourselves because this is what makes you feel healthy, rejuvenated, peaceful and joyful. And because you are worth it! 

  

If you would like to discuss this further or need some help or support in this or any other area, our counsellors would be happy to help. 
 
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Latest Comments

Sharmiladevendran on 03 May 2024, 16:40 PM

Great article with great insights!

RF2020 on 04 Oct 2022, 13:14 PM

Great learning

vidushi15 on 23 Nov 2020, 16:34 PM

Great read!

loriy on 15 Jul 2020, 15:25 PM

A fantastic read, offering practical guidelines. It was very nice to see that the article acknowledged the kind of dread and fear which people feel while thinking of all the things that need to be done initially when starting to be organized and get discouraged, and then assisted in getting over that initial fear so as to motivate to start the process of being organized.

jyotidilip on 22 Oct 2019, 16:26 PM

Seems as if someone has put my mouth out loud in words.

sgb3 on 15 Nov 2018, 15:39 PM

Really good and nicely put. That helps!
I plan all these but I fail to do and stick on to it.

Aparna16 on 31 Oct 2018, 15:55 PM

great article, now i feel - i am right in forcing my family into this habit.

Greengrace on 08 Apr 2017, 12:38 PM

Very interesting article. I already practice almost all of them at home and have been making my family to practice it. At times, I become stubborn and also force my family to follow my rules on keeping the home tidy. After reading your article, it makes me feel, Yes! I am right! :-)

Gaurii on 21 Dec 2016, 17:03 PM

very nice

deepaklng on 29 Mar 2016, 05:59 AM

Great article..