We spend a lot of time with colleagues in the workplace. It's only natural that at least some of those relationships would turn into romance. Romance can certainly make coming to work more interesting! And the chances of meeting a person with whom you have much in common are quite high. However, getting involved can be somewhat risky both for your career and for your relationship. So get to know some 'rules' before you get into a relationship.
Know Now Your Company's Policy
Although dating a coworker is not illegal, some companies have policies against it; others turn a blind eye. Some companies don't want to intrude on employees' lives, while others are very conscious of the fact that it could lead to sexual harassment claims. Companies are worried about liability if a romance goes bad and therefore have a policy regarding interoffice romance.
Know your company's policy written and unwritten policies (Will one employee have to leave a department/team or the company?) and discuss, as a couple, the potential impact of your relationship on your career.
How Will It Affect Your Work?
Often new relationships are a big distraction, more so if your sweetheart is in the office. Minimize the effect by agreeing to talk only at certain times during the day, like lunch. You need to very consciously keep your personal life separate.
Be aware of your motivations too, since boredom or dissatisfaction may be your impetus for office romance. If someone is bored or unsatisfied at work, having a romance can deflect from dealing with other issues.
The ups and downs in your relationship could also affect your productivity at work.
Caution
There is one corporate rule that is wise to follow: If the person you date is your supervisor/team leader/manager or a subordinate, it's best to simply steer clear. It's difficult to report to someone or effectively manage someone you're in love with. Besides this, there could be complaints of favouritism once others get to know. If you do become involved with your boss, ask to have your reporting relationship changed.
Another situation to be wary of is if either partner is married to someone else, this complicates the situation tremendously.
Be Discreet
When you are in a relationship with a co-worker the golden rule to follow is to behave discreetly in the workplace.
Don't tell too many people at work about your relationship, and don't discuss your plans publicly. When Asha started dating her present fiancé she managed to keep loose talk to the minimum by not being seen with him around her workplace. "We used to meet at the shop down the street and go out from there," she said. "For many months we barely nodded at each other at work."
Sometimes it's hard biting your tongue, Gautam says when work and love collide. "If people said bad things about her I couldn't say, 'Shut up, that's my girlfriend.' I couldn't defend her the way I would have liked."
Completely avoid all physical contact or any public display of affection in the office. Don't send flowers or gifts to the workplace and do not write romantic e-mails using your official ID. Remember also that telephone conversations can be overheard!
Be Professional
If your position or responsibilities require you to work together, attend the same meetings, and so on, behave professionally at all times. You are encouraged to be yourself, maintain and speak your continuing opinions, exhibit the same skills, and conduct yourself in the same manner as you did before the relationship.
These rules also apply even to social functions at work. At an office party or business social function, for instance, don't dance too closely or hold hands, and be careful how you address each other.
Meet Each Other Outside the Workplace
It is important to meet each other in different contexts as well. At work you only see one aspect of the person and the context of family background, community, religion and upbringing may seem less important. However, all these factors also come into play in a long-term relationship.
What if the relationship breaks up??
You probably don't want to think about this, but there is always the chance that the relationship could fail. If this happens, be professional and adult about it. Even if you've been jilted and the relationship ends badly you cannot vent your negative feelings in the office. Neither should you attempt to pursue or persuade the other person. This is a risk to office relationships. They sometimes don't work out and then you have to continue to see or work with the person every day.
Love and romance at the workplace are on the increase - and these could result in happy long-term relationships. Just make sure that you proceed with caution!
If you would like to discuss this further or need some help or support in this or any other area, our counsellors would be happy to help.
shanmudaya on 11 Nov 2015, 10:48 AM
Nice article. Recommendation...This can be shared (in the travel kit) to married associates travelling alone.