Over centuries, poets, philosophers, thinkers have all struggled to describe the inexplicable feeling called love. And while the experience of love can be different for different people, there are some aspects that are common. Depending on people's subjective experience and understanding of the emotion, some of the main components that have been used to describe love are:

Closeness: One cannot be in love with a person who is a stranger. Closeness and familiarity is important to understand and feel genuine affection for someone. Only with expression of opinions, beliefs, likes and disinterests, can one feel close and compatible with another. Wholehearted love is impossible without knowing each other's shortcomings and dark spots.

Physical, Sexual and Mental Reactions: When the thought of that special someone comes to the mind or s/he is seen in person, one might experience goose bumps, racing heartbeat, butterflies in the stomach, teary eyes and even blush with a wide smile unusually spread across the face.

Pre-occupation and repetitive thoughts and images of the partner and moments spent together keep flashing in front of the eyes. Dates and places become more significant and memorable. Even little things said, heard or done become reminders of that special someone who is loved.

Expression of Emotions: Lovers experience and reciprocate similar feelings when apart or together - be it joy, pain, worry or excitement. There is a desire to proclaim one's love and express it through words, actions or in other ways. Love is also expressed physically. There will not be any inhibition to express love in person by kissing or making love, and even by holding hands or sitting together. Love is expressed best when respect, time and attention is given through the five senses (watching, listening, smelling, saying and feeling).

Often, people do however knowingly or unknowingly restrict this expression of their emotions, perhaps out of fear of being hurt or rejected. If you find yourself feeling afraid of accepting or expressing your feelings, do recognize it and try and get to the root of the fear. You can contact our counsellors for additional help, support and information.

Acceptance: Love is accepting the other as they are with their inadequacies, shortcomings, fears, background and future consequences of being with them; without any conditions or persuasions to change in future. As someone has said, "Love me not in spite of my shortcomings, but love me because of my shortcomings". Love looks for compatibility rather than differences; and has realistic expectations from each other.

Love also gives the courage to accept and admit personal flaws, which comes from the acceptance one receives from their beloved.

Appreciation: Love focuses on what is good and positive about the other person and does not find pleasure in criticism or accusations. Compliments are a great way of appreciating one's partner. Appreciation for the partner's insights, humour, companionship, and efforts is evident when asked to talk about ‘being in love' with that person. Individuals will selflessly encourage each other to go for their dreams and aspirations.

Anticipation: There is an earnest desire to talk to him/her, know how their day went, when they will meet up next, etc. Every word of the conversation is relished and every moment spent together counts, whether it is toiling in the kitchen trying out a new recipe or a late night walk eating ice-cream.

Selfless Giving: Love desires the other person's happiness, safety, health and satisfaction, before one's own. It focuses on each other's mental, emotional and spiritual growth. Everything done for the other brings greater pleasure to the doer.

Forgiveness and Patience: Love is not vindictive, critical or overpowering. Love forgives mistakes and holds no grudges, because the person is more important than the action.

Self-love: There will be greater appreciation and acceptance of one's own potentials and qualities. Individuals are good to themselves knowing that their personal growth and happiness will result in their partner's as well.

Fun Times are Sought Out: Engaging in recreational activities is an effective way of developing intimacy and closeness in a relationship. Activities selected are on grounds of mutual consent, interest and respect.

Commitment: The relationship is loyal and trustworthy. Commitment is no more a hurdle or a struggle; a strong desire and willingness to be together forever will be present. It is a commitment to make sure that every word and action is for the betterment of the relationship, and avoiding anything that will consciously hurt the other. It is a promise to stick by in the sun and the storm.

It is also true that one's feelings do not remain stationary over time - there will be occasions when one feels terribly hurt or angry towards the other person. But love also means having the commitment to work through and resolve conflicts (rather than brush them under the carpet). As someone has rightly said, "A couple that fights together, stays together" - the key word being "together"; indicating there is togetherness and a joint effort to resolve the conflict. If a couple tells you they never fight or disagree, chances are they are not communicating, which certainly isn't love!

Unfortunately, all loving relationships do not end up on a positive note due to incompatibility, lack of effort or willingness to safeguard it from one or both ends. Heartbreak can be very traumatic and painful sometimes and it is important to seek support to get through it. It helps to have a friend or family member to lean on for strength and comfort. There are people who care and love you enough to be available when you need them, so reach out when you know it is needed.