When I talk to you my friend, and you listen, this is what I experience:

The good part...

I experience a sense of being important to you. I begin to think that I can tell you my story - my thoughts and feelings.

As I tell you these things, I begin to experience a sense of calm. This allows me to think better, and helps me see what I can do to make things better for me.

So as you listen, and give me permission to talk, I begin to see that the problems I have can be sorted out, I feel you support me in my struggles and you are a real friend.

But then my friend, I must say there is the not-so-good part...

The problem is, there are some things that I don't really want to tell you. You are a friend, and I am afraid that if you know these thoughts and feelings, perhaps you would feel differently about me.

You may think I am not a strong person, and that you will need to take care of me. I can't put that burden on you and I don't want you to think I am weak.

If I talk about my family or friends, who may be involved in my present distress, I am not sure what you would think of them. I don't want to be disloyal.

Sometimes when you listen you advise me on what I should be doing; but what if I don't actually take this advice? You might be angry with me. And if I do the things you tell me to, I begin to feel less confident about myself, and see you as being the ‘more powerful' friend.

I am also concerned about how this will affect our friendship. I don't really want you to feel sorry for me. I like the equality we now have in our relationship.

I am also not sure if I am taking up too much of your time, and you will begin to avoid me. It has happened before.

The Winning option:

Then one day I thought - what if I talked to a counsellor who was warm like a friend, but different because he/she would only know those parts of myself that I choose to talk about.

These thoughts led me to try the ‘Talk with a Counsellor' opportunity I was offered.

When I talk and a counsellor listens, I get the benefits without experiencing discomfort.

I get someone who gives me an hour to talk about my thoughts and feelings; and I am listened to without having to worry about what the counsellor is thinking of me. I am sure that what I talk about will never go out of that room. And I know that for that one hour I am the most important aspect of the day for the counsellor.

I also have the benefit of knowing that he/she does not know my family, and what he/she thinks of my family or friends is not going to affect any further interaction with me and them.

As I talk I know I am being heard by an expert who will not only be able to process my experiences so that I can resolve my current concerns, but also help me trace patterns so that I don't keep experiencing the same distress again and again. And since he/she knows how to facilitate people to reach their optimal potential, I can become more effective at work and in my personal life.

Talking to a counsellor helps me to:

• Calm my emotions
• Organize my thoughts
• Let go of the hurtful past
• Resolve the present crisis
• Formulate goals
• Develop plans to reach those goals
• Feel empowered

I feel more confident because the counsellor shows me how to work things out without doing it all for me.

I achieve a sense of emotional well being and satisfaction at work, at home and for myself.

Experience this for yourself- when YOU talk and the COUNSELLOR listens.