So can one be single and happy? Well single life can have both its fulfilling and challenging experiences just as sharing a life with significant others can. And perhaps some of you are facing a lot of struggles and are at your wits end wondering how to make things better. Let's look at both sides.
What makes it tough sometimes?
* Loneliness: is one thing that single people might have to deal with and accept when they choose to stay single. You may find yourself having to accept the not so nice aspects with the benefits of your choice, and this one aspect may be the downside of not sharing your life with another. It's sometimes hard to create things to do when you are alone. Coming home to an empty home, or missing that companionship, not being able to share the joys, hurts or events of the day with someone can be a difficult possibility to adjust to.
* Responsibilities: whether single or married, we all have responsibilities. Sometimes though, taking the responsibility of managing our own households, and work and all the other roles we play can be overwhelming when we have no one to share them with. It can be very stressful to manage it all single handedly.
* Security: in this day and age security is of utmost importance to us. We need to ascertain that we are safe and have someone to reach out to when our lives are threatened in any way. And when we are living single this is one among the many concerns we face. Who to count on at short notice or in emergencies could be a source of worry.
* Self-Assurance and Self-Esteem: when times get challenging and we have pushed ourselves to certain limits, it can be hard sometimes without that someone to push us forward, give us that attention and support to keep us going or even provide some relief. Sometimes our confidence and self-esteem suffers a blow and we wish we could have someone to validate who we are or reassure us that we are capable.
These may be challenges that come with our decision to stay single but they are certainly not undefeatable.
What makes single life great otherwise?
We don't have to always be accountable and can enjoy more freedom in choices made. Benefits of being single means you don't always have to answer to anyone about most things, and you are the main one in charge of youself. It does not mean that you don't have to be responsible at all to anyone other than yourself but that you can act in responsible ways, by your own measures and standards. You set your standards, do a lot of what you really want, go where you want to go and with whomever you want. And you don't always have to answer to anyone about it. While we do need some self-assurance and boost to our self-esteem from time to time from other's opinions, this is a chance to seek that validation in yourself by your own standards, to measure yourself in your own eyes and your achievements.
* Financial independence: people who stay single do have their own financial independence and can decide how they want to spend and save and what they want to invest in. With others in one's life it isn't always possible to do this and often one needs to divide and share and compromise. However this gives the freedom to buy what one wants and spend one's money as one sees fit as well as the freedom to be financially secure.
* Boundaries and space: living single gives us opportunities to live our lives as completely as we can and not need to feel forced to share any aspect of it with another person. We can exist within our own space. When you are single, you can set your own boundaries. You can work for your own comfort, enjoyment, and satisfaction; and not out of responsibility for someone else.
* More control over your time: when you are single, you may have more time for yourself and things that you like to do. You can set your own schedule. Being single may give you more time for hobbies, relaxation, being with friends and family, and so on. Being single gives you more time to better yourself. You can use the extra time to work on your career, volunteer in your community, or maybe take classes, either for job advancement or just for personal enrichment as compared to, perhaps when you are married.
* Ability to become aware of who you are: being single can give you a deeper awareness of who you really are, and not someone as defined by a relationship. During the initial stages of a relationship, you try to make yourself look as good as possible to impress the other person, and often find yourself saying or doing things you normally wouldn't do. Being single allows you to be yourself. Being single and having more time alone allows you to increase your self-awareness, define yourself as an individual, and become more in touch with your emotions and thinking.
How can single life be a happy choice, one you can make the most of?
* Take charge of your life: you can make the most out of staying single by just being yourself first and foremost. You just need to feel comfortable with who you are. Just live life to the fullest and be happy. You're the boss of you and no one else is! You're in charge. And allowing some people into your life to give more meaning to it could only do you more good.
* Stay connected with friends and invest in your extended family: it's a good thing to stay in touch with friends and others in your family. It doesn't matter if a lot of your friends are married and you're not. Maintaining friendships is the most important factor anyhow, especially if these friends mean the world to you and enhance your life in a big way. What matters most is that you're happy and comfortable with who you are. It's also important that you are available to those special people who consider you an important part of their lives. Whether friends or relatives, they not only take away the loneliness but are also there for you during emotionally stressful times. They can fill that emptiness or void you might feel from time to time. And they can even make life less overwhelming with the chores and responsibilities that you would otherwise single handedly take on.
* Make the most of your opportunities: to enhance yourself, grow personally and get the most of your life. There are no people or responsibilities that stand in your way. You can plan carefully and learn to budget, avoid over-spending and buying unnecessary things. Recognize the areas in which you would like to make changes and set about intentionally doing that. Being single whether by choice or circumstances does not have to be a life that is compromised. So do something fulfilling like getting active with volunteer work perhaps.
* Take care of yourself: you are your own caregiver so treat yourself with the care that a loved one would want to give you whether it be the precautions to maintain good physical health or to keep yourself emotionally well. Do positive things and find that meaning in life that will help you feel that sense of accomplishment and satisfaction that you are capable of giving yourself. So take those risks and reach out for what you want for yourself.
For every hurdle there are so many things that could make it easier to cross them. Just recognizing your hurdles and the resources you have to overcome them can make managing single life a lot easier, more fulfilling and a happy decision. So make the most of it. You deserve the best for yourself!
nalluriraju on 16 Aug 2023, 10:21 AM
Good article. GIves other thought in our busy lifestyle.