Technology has made the world a smaller place as it helps people stay more connected, however, being hooked to your smart device could hamper the connectedness between partners. Let’s look at two scenarios here: 

Neighbours to start with, Nisha and Preet fell in love and were in a long-term relationship for five years before getting married. Technology helped them to stay connected all the time. They loved surprising each other with presents they purchased online and spent hours on the phone making future plans. 

Rajat and Swati were married for eight years. Rajat did not object to Swati’s use of technology but now it irritates him. This is because after his long day at work, he misses the casual conversations they had at bedtime, while Swati is oblivious to how he is left feeling by her actions as she is immersed in updating her status on various social media forums. 

These are common examples of daily life circumstances. When the recurrence of such instances increases in frequency, it could leave your partner feeling shunned and unloved. These feelings could lead to increased conflicts and feelings of loneliness within the relationship. 

If you think technology is coming in the way of your relationship, it would be worthwhile to address the issues in the following ways: 

1. Gauge how intense the problem is so that your partner and you can be aware of the issues. This could help you decide how to work on it- for instance, the decision about certain situations when you will not take calls so that you give time to one another. 

2. The nature of our job needs some of us to be available on call. Perhaps you could identify the necessary calls to be taken immediately from work and significant others and the ones which you can take later. 

3. You could minimize your conversation for that period if you need to take the call because your call is cutting away on time with your special one. 

4. Create technology-free zones such as your bedtime or around the dinner table. 

5. Schedule some special time when all gadgets are switched off and your partner and you can spend quality time with only each other. 

6. Communicate with your partner about your feelings regarding technology use. We need to be honest and open about our feelings to be understood the way we want to be.  

7. Discuss with your partner and determine the limit for using technology around each other. For instance, how much is too much? 

If you would like to discuss this further or need some help or support in this or any other area, our counsellors would be happy to help.