You may be the one in your relationship who wants couple's counselling, not because you and your partner cannot work on your issues, but because you want to look at healthier ways to work on it or because nothing else has been helping.
When you make up your mind to talk to your partner, do it one step at a time.
1. Think about why you really want couples therapy
Make sure of why you think counselling is needed. This could help you explain it to your partner better and give you clarity on the issue as well.
2. Be sure not to point fingers
Do not say we need couples counselling and then convey a long list of reasons where your spouse is going wrong. If your spouse feels you are blaming them for problems or implying that they are the reason for the needed therapy, they will most likely not agree. Put it across that WE as a couple could use counselling because OUR marriage needs help. Avoid blame, just share what you feel.
3. Choose a time to talk to your partner
Choose a time when both of you are composed and alone at home without any disturbances or distractions.
4. Prepare for any sort of reaction from your partner
Your partner may be accepting of the idea of couples counselling, however, there are possibilities of him/her being upset about it as well.
5. Make the process simple and acceptable for both of you
Have a process in mind and tell your partner all that is to be done is to call and fix an appointment and then go in for counselling.
6. If your partner is still resistant
If your partner is resistant towards counselling, then perhaps you could consider individual counselling for yourself to work through the impact of the concerns in your marriage and prepare yourself to manage them better.
If you would like to discuss this further or need some help or support in this or any other area, our counsellors would be happy to help.
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avneetkc on 23 Nov 2020, 16:19 PM
This is a very interesting article, and I could definitely draw some parallels with my experience as a teenager in school, when the teacher would give more attention to a particular student. And research has shown that teachers who pay special attention to the performance of their students tend to fare better than those who do not receive such attention. Perhaps this could apply to workplace relationships as well, such as the employee performing well because of the extra attention, or the boss paying extra attention to the employee that has been working well; therefore causing some confusion as to where the cause and effects lie.- Avneet Kaur