Take the case of Arun and Nita, both with very busy working schedules and parents of two children. Though they have been married for 14 years, they seem to be always in conflict over money issues. While Arun is quite often an impulsive spender, Nita's relationship with money has been very conservative. With different value systems about money, Arun often feels that they are never on the same page. He feels that Nita needs to learn to enjoy the financial freedom while for Nita, long term plans of saving for the children are far more important than spending impulsively. Neither of them can empathise with the other and talk about money without accusations being hurled. Every argument about other issues always seems to end in a conflict about money management. Things would have been easier if they had taken time to talk about finance, taking into account their personal values about money and working out a mutually agreeable financial plan.

Considering such scenarios, it is imperative for both the partners to first be aware of the reasons for the conflict and then go about resolving them in the best way possible. Here are some common work-related conflicts that couples generally face, and some tools to deal with them.

Managing Role Conflicts

Earlier roles were very well defined between couples. However, there has been a sea change after the advent of double income families. Men do pitch in with the chores to help out their partners and most households share responsibilities more or less equally. But it isn't always without challenges due to the demanding job schedules of both partners. There are still roles that usually only a woman takes on. For example, the primary roles of cooking, cleaning and taking care of the children's needs. Sometimes the woman might feel resentful that she is taking on more than her partner. So before the pressure piles on, sort out your feelings and talk to your partner about your expectations. Dialogues are a great way to resolve conflicts.

Financial Issues

Money is one of the major reasons for marital conflict. Often partners have different values about money. While one partner may be circumspect about expenditure, the other may not be so cautious. Conflicts also arise when one of the partners brings in much more than the other. The inequity in income levels may result in ego battles. The best way to resolve money issues is to have an open discussion with your partner and create a budget that takes into account both your interests and opinions. Saving plans, loan repayments and travel expenses are other contentious issues that need to be planned in advance. Once there is clarity about the distribution of available funds and a clear financial plan, then there is less room for arguments about money.

Healthy Communication

Very often we assume that our partner should know how we are feeling or about our expectations from them.Whether it is about daily routines, children's schedules, travel plans, money or just making time for each other, nothing is too trivial for a dialogue. Instead of assuming things and feeling resentful, it is better to be honest with your partner and clarify issues without hesitation. There may be days when you just want to be alone and other times when you want your partner to just listen to you about your day's work. Again don't assume that your partner should be able to read your mind. Communicate your expectations very clearly and you will find that there are fewer battles in your home.

Making Time for Leisure

Sometimes one is so caught up withdaily routines and chores that you might miss scheduling some ‘me time' for yourself or leisure time for the family. Plan some kind of family time every week or at least once a month so that you feel connected and engaged as a family. Couples who have hectic schedules must prevent burn-out by ensuring good nutrition, sleep and perhaps pursue some kind of recreational activity. Take the same trouble with your personal schedules as you would for a board meeting or review meeting with your colleagues. After all, your relationship with your family is the most important one in your life and it is also the one most taken for granted! Make sure that your career is not all-consuming and robbing you of time from the family.

Draw Clear Boundaries

Try not to bring your work home and don't use the office for personal issues. Learn to be assertive and say no to tasks that may intrude on your personal time. Nothing is more annoying than a spouse's preoccupation with work related issues during family time. If possible switch off your office phones and desist from checking your mail while at home. Focus on your family's needs completely without any distractions. All of us work under stressful time lines and sometimes the lines blur between work and home, but as long as it is the exception rather than the rule it is acceptable.

Introduce Your Colleagues to Your Family

Since most of us spend at least 9 to 10 hours at work, it is natural that we form a close bond with our colleagues. They become almost like our family. This may sometimes lead to your partner feeling insecure about your work place relationships. The best way to win your partner's trust is to introduce your colleagues to them. Maybe you could invite them home for a meal or go out together. Again this cannot be a very frequent phenomenon as you are already spending a considerable time with them at work. This is just to ensure that your partner is familiar with the people you work with and understand the work place dynamics better thereby leading to a more stable and secure relationship.

Sometimes we allow our marriage to run on auto-pilot because of other priorities. This is very common in dual career marriages. While this is fine for a short time, try not to allow it to become a regular pattern. A stable marriage and a secure home is the best gift you can give your children and to yourselves. And like your career, your marriage needs a lot of work as well. Juggling your career with your family is not easy especially in the current economic scenario and the best way to do this would be to engage actively with your partner and discuss your priorities. After all a fulfilling career and a stable marriage go a long way in increasing your happiness quotient!