Traditionally in India, a couple was expected to start a family as soon as they were married. But now more and more couples are waiting for a while to decide when, if at all, to have a baby. If you are in this position, here are some questions that you and your partner could discuss together.

•Are both of you ready for parenthood? It's a good idea to wait for at least a year after marriage so that you have time to establish your relationship as a couple.

•Do you want to have a child? If so, why?

•Can you afford a baby? This is as much a matter of values as one of income. Much depends on what you consider essentials. You need not wait to have lots of money, but does at least one of you have a secure job with a steady income? Will the company pay maternity bills? If not do you have enough saved? Will you get financial help from your parents? Are both of you agreed on this? As your child grows you will also have to think of finances for educational needs.

•When is the best time to have a baby? This is a highly individual issue. Having a child in your twenties seems to be ideal from the point of health and energy, but this is also the time when you are getting settled in a career. Older parents have the advantage of greater maturity. Do keep in mind how old you will be by the time your child is financially independent. Also at a later stage, career responsibilities may be greater and it may be more difficult to put aside time needed for parenting.

•How many kids do you want? How far apart?

· Are you prepared to make changes in your lifestyle? For e.g. your pattern of socializing may change dramatically. You will have less free time for yourselves. (Of course you could get a lot of pleasure out of time spent with the baby.)

· If you belong to different religions, castes, communities or races-how will this child be brought up?

· If both of you are working, to what maternity leave and other benefits are you entitled? Will you continue working after the baby arrives? If so what childcare arrangements will you make?

There are no right and wrong answers - use these questions to spark off your thinking and discussion. If you decide to go ahead...... happy parenting! This will be one of the most demanding but also most rewarding and fulfilling experiences in your life.

When mum's the last word (the viewpoint of an older mother)www.mothers35plus.co.uk