The pain we experience inside is expressed in various ways- it can become hard to concentrate at work, some of us withdraw from friends and family, there are changes in the way we eat or sleep, or we may not feel like doing anything including the activities that once brought us great pleasure and fun.

We hear that people in pain get angry easily or begin to cry even if the situation is not something that they would have cried over earlier.

Often emotional pain begins to affect physical health and wellness. You may begin to feel less energetic, and actually suffer from more colds and coughs. Immunity drops with prolonged emotional pain, there could be more serious kinds of physical illness that begin including arthritis and chronic digestive disorders. Skin and other allergies may also surface.

Over a period of time, we may decide that we would not get attached either to people or things in future becuase losing them causes so much pain. The problem with these kind of choices are that while we try and protect ourselves from the pain of loss, we also lose out on a major slice of happiness in life that comes from investing ourselves in relationships with family and friends.

If you are someone who has faced loss and have decided not to reinvest and celebrate life and relationships in order to protect yourself from pain, or are someone who is at present experiencing pain then, here is some good news.

You will get better both from the inside and out.

There are a few simple steps that will help:

Find someone you trust in your circle of family or friends, or even a counsellor who will listen to your grief of loss, and give you the space to express your feelings. Share your story and your pain. Did you know that telling your story itself can start the healing process?

Recognize that what you are experiencing is natural - and it comes from having invested in yourself and enjoyed what you did, before your loss.

Take care of yourself - eat and sleep regardless of how you feel. Get professional help if you are having difficulties in doing so.

Build a protective circle around you- ask for support from family and friends.

Stay Active - do things that you enjoyed earlier. Make a time table and stick to it. Time on one's hands with nothing to do can just add to the sense of helplessness.

Give yourself time to heal from the pain - each of us experiences it differently, and with different intensities. Just give yourself the time you need.
Counselling is the professional support you may need at the time you are in pain. Get the support you need before emotional pain robs you both of physical well being and joy in living.