Anger can be a lot more than just a five-letter word. It can act as your friend and encourage you to put in extra effort to achieve the success you have been hoping for, or strive through your difficulties, or even help you move out of your comfort zone. When used wisely, anger is the friend that helps you reach for the skies. 

 
Unfortunately, a lot of us struggle to cope with this emotion and it creates hurtful moments and situations in so many aspects of our lives. Before we realize it, our relationships, our health, and our career have borne the brunt of our anger. 
When expressed in unhealthy manners, this very same emotion can cause heartache and sorrow, and disheartened us from leading a happy life. 

Let us explore the numerous ways by which anger hurts and limits our well-being. 

Angry behaviour may not be understood easily. This behaviour is usually very different from how the individual usually acts. A colleague who has been sulking and avoiding the team may appear to be upset. A spouse who gives the silent treatment may seem to be unhappy and wish to be given some personal space. A child who cries may be mistaken to be hungry. An angry person may appear hostile or withdrawn from the situation and such behaviours are understandably confusing. Anger may even encourage unhealthy habits such as smoking and drinking which then lead to socially inappropriate behaviours. 

Anger and health together is quite a researched area and perhaps you have heard doctors talk about how anger affects us. Our heart rate accelerates, breathing becomes difficult, blood pressure rises, and the release of adrenaline creates more tension in the body when we are angry. 
Any distressing emotional tension can impact our health, and if you are finding it difficult to relax or calm down, or you don't have the energy to get through the day, then this could be a cause of concern. 

Anger and relationships are interrelated and many a time we may seem unsure of whether the anger has created concerns in the relationship or have issues in the relationship led to anger. Irrespective of what has led to what, excessive anger or repressed anger can create an environment of misunderstandings, a lack of affection, and a lack of trust between the persons. 

A wife may withdraw or shut herself up because she feels unappreciated and unheard; this absence of interaction may leave the husband feeling misunderstood and disrespected. Both may unknowingly continue to hold on to the anger which in time may turn to resentment and an emotional disconnect. After a point, our loved ones may avoid us due to these acts of anger. 

Anger affects careers and we may experience distress. A person known to talk aggressively, make sarcastic remarks, behave rudely, or even resort to physical violence would understandably be considered unapproachable or unfriendly. Expressing anger in aggressive ways are noticeable, but passive aggression can show in ways such as intentionally finishing work late so that the overall team performance is affected, isolating oneself during mealtimes, not cooperating or withholding certain information from the team, showing up late for meetings or bringing up irrelevant issues and so on. Such incidents would then cloud the individual's strengths at work and credibility. 

No matter where the anger stems from or which area of our life it impacts, it is imperative to understand the reasons behind the anger, the ways by which it can be addressed adequately, as well how anger can impact our lives positively. 

If you would like to discuss this further or need some help or support in this or any other area, our counsellors would be happy to help.