A question asked by many, a topic that features in movies, cafeteria conversations; among psychologists, biologists and songwriters. There are different types of love; the love we feel towards our parents is different from the romantic love we feel towards a spouse. Then again, romantic love itself is different for different people. Some swear by love at first sight and others say they grew to love each other. This makes it difficult to distinguish between the state of infatuation and actually being in love.

Infatuation is an intense emotion, often based on physical attraction. Love does include attraction, but is more multidimensional, taking into account a variety of qualities and traits. While the two states have similarities, there are a few fundamental differences. Understanding what infatuation is will help you distinguish if what you are feeling is true love or an exciting but temporary emotion.

Psychologist Sternberg suggests that infatuation is passionate love, but it lacks intimacy and commitment. That is, individuals are infatuated when they experience desire and arousal for a particular romantic interest, but they do not feel bonded or experience a sense of closeness to the person or have not yet committed to the romantic interest.

Infatuation tends to be pronounced in the early stages of a romantic relationship, simply because we might not have had as much interaction with the person, to build this intimacy and commitment, but we are strongly attracted to them and there is a strong desire to achieve a state of connectedness and intimacy.

When we are attracted to someone, there is actually a physiological reaction, neurotransmitters adrenaline and phenyl ethylamine increase, that causes feelings of euphoria, a pleasurable experience. Additionally, serotonin, the relaxation feel good hormone, lowers, that makes you want to feel that euphoria again and that makes you ruminate about your partner and reflect on the romantic times spent with him or her.

Infact, being infatuated is often compared to an addiction, you need the person because they make you feel good, and once that high of endorphins goes, you feel low again. Infatuated individuals tend to be in an emotional overdrive, fluctuating between feelings of euphoria at the pleasant times and, if there are thoughts that the other person does not reciprocate their feelings, despair.

Besides ruminating over the person, infatuation is also characterized by fantasy, as we imagine the wonderful relationship with "the girl of our dreams" or our "knight in shining armor". In this state of euphoria, we may tend to gloss over faults and smooth over problems as we idealize or worship the person's positive qualities, looking at the person through rose tinted glasses.

Most often, infatuated persons tend to direct their passions toward only one potential partner and, consequently, yearn for the other to reciprocate this exclusive desire. This may cause feelings of jealousy and possessiveness.

It takes a certain amount of uncertainty to maintain the state of infatuation. You don't know how things are going to turn out, you don't know much about the other person, so you engage in fantasy and create a lot of things in your head. So when there is more certainty, passion by itself starts to decline. We start seeing the person and the relationship in a different light, which may not be what we fantasized about in the beginning. Often couples report a decline in the honeymoon effect, or complain that their partners have changed, or not what they were when they first met.

Passion, by itself, tends to be short lived and therefore may fizzle out quickly. However, passion, in combination with increasing intimacy and commitment, is a foundation for long lasting love. So, if you are in the early stages of a relationship right now and you feel a little infatuated, enjoy the experience and arm yourself with this new knowledge to help you navigate more smoothly and treasure the experience of falling in love.