If there is one thing we know about human beings, it's that we thrive on connection and suffer significantly in its absence. Relationships, it appears, are the glue that holds us all together.
Last year's uncertainty and the absence of social gatherings, and hangouts have underscored the importance of these relationships. As we attempt to make sense of our altered world, we also need to fortify our relationships to ensure that we continue to have a reliable support system to lean on.
Simple ways to build meaningful social and familial relationships
So, how should we go about nurturing our relationships to make them meaningful and enduring? Here are a few ways to do so:
Adopt a friendly and curious manner: Often, we perceive others as unfriendly because of our anxieties about meeting someone new. It is essential to recognise this, allow it and act keeping this in mind. If you feel afraid that someone else might be unfriendly, how about trying to be friendly yourself and asking them questions about their lives? Nothing makes a person feel closer to others more than sharing the details of their life and knowing that someone is genuinely interested in them.
Offer your vulnerability: There is no way to be invulnerable in a deep relationship. By definition, a deep connection is one where you count on each other. This is inherently risky because as much as our loved one's care about us, they wouldn't be able to be there for us all the time, despite wanting to. It is essential to understand that this is normal, and it does not mean that people don't love us.
Accept people without judgement: This is easier said than done, but it is essential to intimacy that we feel accepted and loved, flaws and all. Just think about how you would want people to think about you, with your limitations, and try to act accordingly with others.
Enjoy people genuinely: This attitude can be cultivated over time and is crucial to your happiness and contentment. If we approach relationships as things that can teach us something new and meaningful, we are more likely to take care of them and make them last longer.
Doing things together: Sharing your passions with others and engaging in activities you enjoy helps you bond with people. It may also lead you to discover common interests that bring you and your loved ones closer.
It is essential to mindfully and sincerely invest time into familial and social relationships. Not only do these relationships enrich our lives with meaning, but they also help us be resilient in the face of seemingly insurmountable trauma and pain.
Enriching an intimate relationship: Nurturing your bond with your partner
Another relationship, a rather important one that requires your attention, is the one with your partner. Just as with others, it's also essential to check in and see how your most intimate relationship is doing.
To ensure the health of your relationship with your partner, do the following:
Try not to take your partner for granted: As time goes on, it is normal and common to assume that our partners are just there, and, for the most part, they are. However, we all want to be acknowledged, valued and heard in our relationships. Therefore, you need to be more mindful about connecting with your partner.
Check-in with each other: Have honest and open conversations periodically about what you both think and feel about the relationship. Are each person's needs for connection and safety being met? Are they able to discuss troubling concerns? Since these conversations can bring up some anxiety, it is crucial to have them as kindly and openly as possible. Ensure that your partner can air their true feelings without fear of judgment or rejection.
Show appreciation: In our most intimate relationships, we often tend to focus on our disappointments. However, it is more empowering and helpful to have conversations focusing on your partner's efforts to make you feel good or on how you would want your relationship to look like in the future.
Maintain boundaries: Even in the most loving of relationships, some space is essential. Give each other time to be with other people and by yourselves. Be mindful of what and how much you share online.
Be direct: The truth is we are all afraid of losing the ones we love. When something happens that threatens our sense of safety, we sometimes respond with barbs and passive-aggressive comments in an attempt to regain control. When done often, it can do irreparable harm to our relationships. Instead, state your needs directly and kindly. For example, instead of saying, "I am sure it would be too much to ask that you spend Sunday with me, instead of us meeting your friends," try, "I would like to spend some alone time with you this weekend. Do you think you could make some time for that?" It will transform your interactions, making them far more honest, open and far less hurtful.
Show up: Even if things are difficult or if you feel misunderstood, the only way to resolve these feelings is to show up with kindness and openness. Attuning to your partner's needs and understanding their perspective involves actively engaging in communication. You may better comprehend your partner's needs and acquire insight into their perspective by interacting with them openly and empathetically. The hallmark of a healthy relationship is to be open and responsive to each other's needs.
As much as we all want loving, supportive relationships, from time to time, we all make mistakes that affect them, and that is okay. We are, after all, human. The important thing is understanding what some of these mistakes are and learning from them as much as possible.
References
Andersen, S., & Miranda, R. (n.d.). Home | The Psychologist. Transference - How past relationships emerge in the present | The Psychologist. Retrieved November 9, 2018, from http://thepsychologist.bps.org.uk/volume-13/edition-12/transference-how-past-relationships-emerge-present-0
Axner, M. (n.d.). Community Tool Box. Chapter 14. Core Functions in Leadership | Section 7. Building and Sustaining Relationships | Main Section | Community Tool Box. Retrieved November 9, 2018, from http://ctb.ku.edu/en/table-of-contents/leadership/leadership-functions/build-sustain-relationships/main
De Marneffe, D. (n.d.). The New York Times. The Secret to a Happy Marriage Knows How to Fight. Retrieved November 8, 2018, from http://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/12/opinion/sunday/engagement-marriage-conflict.html
Ni, P. (n.d.). Psychology Today: Health, Help, Happiness + Find a Therapist. What is Your Relationship Attachment Style? | Psychology Today. Retrieved November 8, 2018, from http://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/communication-success/201507/what-is-your-relationship-attachment-style
Sedikides, C. (n.d.). Home | The Psychologist. Close relationships - What's in it for us? | The Psychologist. Retrieved November 9, 2018, from http://thepsychologist.bps.org.uk/volume-18/edition-8/close-relationships-whats-it-us
Sue, J. (2008). Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love (Vol. 1). New York: Little Brown and Company
Warren, J.D. (n.d.). | News. Research affirms the power of 'we' | News. Retrieved November 1, 2018, from http://news.ucr.edu/articles/2018/10/04/research-affirms-power-we
Whitbourne, S. (n.d.). Psychology Today: Health, Help, Happiness + Find a Therapist. The 9 Most Common Relationship Mistakes | Psychology Today. Retrieved November 8, 2018, from http://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201401/the-9-most-common-relationship-mistakes
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nivm on 05 Jul 2022, 11:50 AM
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Usefulmayank4297 on 02 Aug 2019, 18:38 PM
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Clear and concise. Helpful.Moganapriya.r on 24 Jun 2019, 09:57 AM
Really useful