In many homes, the constant complaint is "My teenager won't talk to me", creating pressure not only on you but also on your teen to communicate, which may end up backfiring. The best thing you could do is develop good communication and quality time when your child is younger. The time you take to listen with interest when your younger child talks nonstop will pay off when your child reaches the teen years. During the difficult years ahead, even if there are periods of non-communication, you'll still have a basically good relationship and your teens are likely to want to keep it that way. 

 
Begin to let go 

At every stage through childhood, you need to encourage independence. By adolescence, your child will be ready for the greater freedom they crave. Gradually allow your child, greater independence, making it clear that freedom is tied to responsible behaviour. For instance, if you allow them to come home later, but find that they have gone to a place that's out of bounds, then for the next week they should be expected to come home earlier. 

Peer pressure 

Friendships are very much an important aspect of the teen years. Understanding the nature of peer influence can help support youth as they enter into this period and follow the path towards close friendships that are hallmarks of adolescence. Do not belittle your child's friends but do talk about peer pressure and help your teen realise that sometimes they must be willing to stand up for their own values and views. 

Physical Changes 

Prepare your child for the physical changes to be expected at puberty in both sexes. Since some girls mature as early as 9 or 10, a girl needs to be told about menstruation by the age of 9 or so. The first menstruation can be traumatic, if the child is unprepared. Discuss it in a matter of fact manner. 

On average, boys begin going through puberty a little later than girls, usually around age 10 or 11. But they may begin to develop sexually or have their first ejaculation without looking older or developing facial hair first. 

Trust 

Creating an atmosphere of honesty, mutual trust and respect is necessary. Facilitating, encouraging and creating an environment for teenagers to talk openly about problems could lay the foundation for talking with the child when struggles and conflicts emerge during these difficult years. 

If you would like to discuss this further or need some help or support in this or any other area, our counsellors would be happy to help. 
 
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