Becoming a parent is a life-changing event and preparing for the birth of your first child is both exciting and daunting. Much preparation happens as you await the birth and your lives completely revolve around this little one after they are born. 
 
By the time the second baby is due, both parents are probably feeling more confident. You know what to do and feel reasonably competent to meet the needs of this tiny person because you have done it before. But this time there is a new element - your older child. They need to be cared for and there is also the concern about how he/she will react to the presence of another baby in the family. 
 
A father's involvement is particularly valuable when the second baby arrives. He can help the older child with feelings of jealousy and in the process develop a closer bond with them. 
 
Before the birth: A Father can take over more tasks in caring for the older child, so that when his wife has to go into hospital, the child's familiar routine can be continued. 

 
Coming out of hospital: When the mother returns home from the nursing home, the father can hold the baby while she hugs and talks to the older child. When the mother needs to take care of the baby, the father can in turn give the older child his full attention. 

 
The early days: Mothers will have to spend a lot of time with the new baby, and at this point the father can involve the older child in other activities, or take him / her on special outings. This could be a special time of bonding as father and child could spend quality time together. Both will benefit and the child is reassured that he/she is loved and will not be neglected. 

 
Sleep time for mom: New mothers are advised to sleep when the baby sleeps, since their night sleep is usually disturbed. But if there is an older child around this becomes more difficult. The father's help in entertaining and caring for the older child can give the mother a chance to grab forty winks while the new baby naps. 
 
Father and new baby: The father can also take charge of the new baby for periods of time so his wife can have time alone with the older child. This will help him develop a relationship with the baby as well. 
 
Of course there could be times when parents interact with both children together, but it is important that each child also gets individual attention from each of the parents 

If you would like to discuss this further or need some help or support in this or any other area, our counsellors would be happy to help. 
 
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