Most parents would agree that a part of them secretly wants their child to never leave home. You want to protect your child from hurt, failure and the various bumps on the road to adulthood. At the same time, we know it does not always play out this way because the bumps are what our children need to shape and mould them into stronger human beings. So with a heavy heart we get ready to let them fly out of the proverbial nest to college or for further education away from home. Flying needs some preparation and training, doesn't it?

While they may not sail smoothly over all the bumps on the road, the journey can be made easier if parents equip children with coping skills. Here we explore some tried and tested methods that may help you buffer your child with the appropriate life skills before he leaves home for the first time.

Dialogue about sensitive issues
You may be concerned about issues like inappropriate sexual conduct, substance abuse, ethics, boundaries and academic performance. Instead of lecturing them about what may go wrong, have a healthy dialogue instead. Let them know about your expectations and norms without making it seem like a law. Discuss about the consequences of risk taking behavior. Talk about issues that might distract them from their academic pursuits. Teach them how to deal with failures and disappointments. Use a calm and non-judgmental tone all the while through your conversations.

Discuss their daily schedule
Ask your child to plan out his daily schedule and ensure that it includes physical and extra-curricular activities. For instance, if your child likes literary activities, encourage him to join the literary club or the college magazine club. Make sure that the focus is not totally on academic performance. Validation from multiple sources is always a better idea for long term development. This need not be a very specific plan but just enough to have an idea of how best to manage their time. You can also subtly make sure that they don't have too much of idle time! If possible ask for a copy of the college calendar and keep it at home so that you keep yourself informed about your child's subjects and schedule.

Make yourself familiar with the college campus
It would be helpful to make multiple trips to the college campus if possible. You can get familiar with the layout as well as the atmosphere on campus. You could help your child explore his hostel, canteen and classrooms beforehand so that he gets a feel of the place. If you have the opportunity, then check out how students spend their leisure hours on campus. Just getting a general idea about the social culture will give you a sense of the place.

Work out the allowance carefully
You could check with parents of older students about the likely expenditure on campus. Sit with your child and work out a reasonable budget taking into account additional costs like laundry and recreational activities. Make him accountable for all his expenses and ensure that he has a reasonable allowance but not too much spare cash to tempt him into unnecessary expenditure. Talk about the difference between needs versus wants and to adjust his spending choices accordingly.

Get important contact details
Make sure that you have multiple telephone numbers to reach your child on campus. Keep the numbers and email references of the principal, warden, counselor or student advisor. Do also have the numbers of your child's roommates, friends and one or two parents. You will then have alternate methods to get in touch in case your child does not answer his phone for a long time even after a few missed calls, for some reason.

Help them become independent
If you have not taught your child to become self-reliant then you will have to start real soon! Up until now they have had you to take care of their laundry, food and housekeeping and will now suddenly have to manage everything on their own. It can become overwhelming. Teach them how to cook basic things, wash their own clothes, sew buttons or mend minor tears and basic housekeeping skills. This will come in use especially if you are sending them overseas for their college education.

Bond with them
Spend quality time with your child before he leaves home. Take time to go out for leisurely drives or a meal or even a short holiday together. Take advantage of your time together to talk about your good times together, your own challenges while growing up and other general non-controversial topics, all the while keeping the tone casual and easy going. This will keep communication lines open and strengthen your bond. It will also make it easy for them to turn to you when they are in trouble if they know that you are non-judgmental and will accept them unconditionally. Assure them that they can turn to you for help whatever the circumstances and that you will support them.

Leaving home for the first time is never easy either for the parents or the child. Sending your child away from home might fill you with trepidation, while for your child it may be mixed feelings of excitement and anxiety. As parents we try our best to protect our children and at the same time set them free. This balance in itself can be challenging but with a bit of thought and support you can make the transition from home to college a smooth and positive experience.