All families are unique - no parents or children are completely alike. Yet isn't it surprising that there are some ‘dialogues' that seem to play over and over in many homes, and that too over the generations! 
 
We asked a number of people to tell us some of the statements they've heard very often at home.... and hated. Do some of them sound familiar to you? Is this the way you talk to your children? 
 
 

"This generation.....sighhh" 

"You were never like this before...what has happened to you? 

"If this is how you are now, God knows what's going to happen to you in future" 

"Don't ask me to chill..." 

"I was not born yesterday ..." 

"Do you even value the kind of money we have spent on your education..etc etc..." 

"The amount you spent on that pair of shoes paid for my entire college education..." 

"CAR? ... I used to go cycling to school... / You want to travel by AIR? I always travelled by train in second class..." 

"I don't blame you - it's all our fault for giving you all this freedom .. we should have also have been strict with you like ___ . You would have been in IIT... not wasting your life" 

"You don't know what this world is like...you have to be careful" 

Why do you talk on the phone /sms now - you just saw your friends, why do you need to talk more? 

"Stop watching TV and do some studying" 

"Don't argue...just do what you are told for a change" 

"That's not the way you have been brought up to behave..." 

"I wish you were never born..." 

"You are a failure... Useless /good for nothing" 

"Your father's/mother's health is suffering because of you.." 

"If you continue like this you will never amount to anything" 

"Look at your sister/brother/cousin...they're not like this" 

"You're hanging out with the wrong crowd" 

"Your friend seems to be doing well in school...why can't you be more like him?" 

"I don't care what you think..." 
 
"I don't want to hear anything more..." 

"Is this the way I raised you?" 

"It is not in our culture to do these things" 

"You are spoiling our family's reputation" 

And of course the classic ones: 
 
 
"I am saying this for your own good...." 

"In our days..." 

Are you making these same statements? If so, remember your children probably do not like hearing them any more than you did, and they will probably have as little effect! 

So when you are tempted to say some of these sentences / phrases, hold back and see if you can find a more positive way to communicate. Do read the article on “Communication Tips for Parents”, to learn more effective ways of communicating and looking at what you can do instead. 
 
 

If you would like to discuss this further or need some help or support in this or any other area, our counsellors would be happy to help. 
 
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Call 1800-258-8999 / 1800-258-8121