“I am 10 years old now and unlike most children my sister and I have two homes. Our mother’s home is spacious and bright and warm with paintings on the walls. She cooks yummy food and spends a lot of time with us chatting and teaching us and helping us with our lessons. We can discuss any topic with her and she patiently explains what we don’t understand. She even listens and sings the songs we like and we do have a lot of fun watching movies together. We hug her when we feel like hugging her and she hugs us back.

Our dad’s home is the home we grew up in and we have a lot of friends there. Our dad travels a lot and when he is at home we spend weekends with him. He teaches us Maths and we usually have our lessons at different restaurants before or after our meals there. It is fun to order the food we want. Our dad tries very hard to keep our home clean, and tucks us into bed like our Mom usually does but can be distracted. He tries to do other activities like swimming and tennis, in spite of his work schedule. He even taught us how to play Chess.

Our dad told us that he does not love our mom anymore and is in love with someone else. He explained that it was an accident and it was not intentional but since it has happened it cannot be changed. But why is he so irritable? Why is our mom still so sad and serious most of the time? We worry about her and keep checking on her. We cannot talk about dad to her as she gets very upset and sometimes reacts with anger.

We used to go to either of them when we did not feel well, when we were afraid, when we fought with each other or when we needed something. But now we hesitate to do that and try to handle it on our own. We feel responsible for both our parents. We are doing our best to be patient with our dad and tell him we still love him the same no matter what and we are constantly watching our mom and taking good care of her and not doing anything to displease her because we don’t want her to be sad.

Both of them were in love and in a relationship for many years before they got married. We wonder why they don’t love each other anymore.

Very often we wonder if they would have still cared for each other if we had not come along. We wonder if they regret having us. Would it ever be the way it was when we were young? I wish we could play and be the way our friends are and not worry about our parents”.

Parent’s decision to separate or divorce makes children grow up faster than they actually should, depriving them of the childhood they should actually be experiencing like other children. If you have questions about divorce or separation and the impact on the children, you could talk to one of our counsellors in 1to1help.