Parents have different ways of dealing with the pressure of children’s exams. Given the stiff competition in every sphere of life, one can understand a parent's anxiety to ensure that their child performs well. However, if parents really want to help their children they need to be realistic and balanced in their approach. It would then be imperative to know what factors are counterproductive to performance, and then work towards overcoming them.

Counterproductive Influences

Getting Overly Anxious

Research suggests that despite best intentions, parents often transfer their anxieties to their child, which does more harm than good. A sense of constant anxiety would interfere with the child's ability to concentrate and learn. It may also lead to complete panic and blanking out on the day of the exam.

Unrealistic Expectations

Given the competitive times, we all want our child to get into a good college. A parent could end up putting undue pressure or having unrealistic expectations that may stress the child out. If children feel that the expectations are too high, the fear of failure prevents them from even putting in efforts to do what they are capable of. They may feel that none of their efforts are good enough.

Comparisons

All children are not alike. Comparisons with siblings, friends, and peers can cause a lot of psychological turmoil. This is the last thing one would want at this time. The turmoil comes from feeling "not good enough" and undermining their own abilities. If the child is very young, they may also feel that the parent loves them less since they are not as good as the other child they are being compared to. Though parents know that their love is not so fickle, children are not so aware of this fact.

Poor Study Habits

Sometimes, children have no schedules and routine for studying, no designated study area as well as no time to de-stress; This can be counterproductive as the studying process becomes unstructured and not being allowed to de-stress can make them feel saturated, bored and even angry.

How to Negate these Counterproductive influences

Developing Effective Study Habits:

•    Provide a quiet, well-lit room away from distractions, for the child to study.
•    Encourage the child to make a timetable and follow it. If you don't want a rebel on your hands do not force your decisions on your child. Instead involve the child in the process of making a time table and help him decide the time he would like to devote to studies.
•    For more points read our article on Effective Study Skills.

Allowing Time to Unwind and De-stress:

•    It is important for the child to remain relaxed during the exams and extremely important for them to be able to do some of the activities that make them feel happy and relaxed as they are preparing.
•    The child should be encouraged to fit in his artwork, sports or other leisure activity in the timetable. The activity should be of their choice. Something that they enjoy like basketball, speaking with friends, listening to music, surfing the internet etc. Not putting too many restrictions will keep a balanced approach and give the child enough freedom and support to make the right choices.

Lifestyle Factors:

•    Teach the child relaxation techniques like deep breathing, meditation etc. to deal with anxiety or the stress which he /she may be feeling.
•    Ensure that the child eats a healthy diet. Avoid fatty foods or foods high in sugar. Try to include nuts and fresh fruits as snacks.
•    Make sure the child gets adequate sleep. This will help her concentrate better.

For Parents

To help children do well parents first need to deal with their own anxiety and stress.

•    Don't make too many changes in your daily life because your child is having exams. Do not create hype about the exams and be as normal as possible.
•    Do not make discussion of studies and exams the only topic of conversation with friends.